Yes I am. Deal with it.

Look at you, the epitome of smugness, came here to check out what I'm upto this time. I mean just look at you! Suddenly conscious of yourself without anyone around to notice it, trying out that new half-smirk you've been practicing so hard lately.... I'm supposed to tell you about myself? How oh-so-awesomest am I and give you a list of reasons to worship me? Why?

Let's turn the tables for a change - you tell me about yourself; wipe that half-smirk (and that unconscious frown too) and come present your case...

Why? Why should I tell you about me? Who are you? What have you done lately?

Oh just chuck those petty 'conquests' that you're trying to console yourself with, even that stray puppy you've grown so fond of battles harder odds everyday... Don't come to me with those pieces of trivial information you so desperately want to believe making you special. No, seriously - what in the name of Galaxy have you accomplished lately?

My my... Just look at you. Actually trying to decide to start taking responsibility! Oh please don't! All the asylums are already spilling. Let's not add to it. Take my advice and just move on like you did when you accepted that life is a bitch. Deep thought is just a passing phase, it'll blow over and you'll be back to yourself in no time.

Tell you what; stop reading now, get up, go take a walk and contemplate real hard. That'll give you back your treasured sense of self-importance. We don't really need any more broken tools... most of them are already useless even unbroken. Nopes, you should feel good about those thick books and art films you've devoured and 'identified with' so much.

Go back to your life, back to your petty hopes and dreams of conquering the world one night in bed at a time. Forget that for a moment you were thinking. We'll all excuse the fact that you're a tiny insignificant speck of consciousness trying helplessly to make sense of 'the grand plan'... Do let me know when you do by the way, I'll unfreeze hell and throw a party.

Aw c'mon now... I promise to pretend that I was just messing with your head and all this is just one of my twisted pranks. Do come to me when you have time to spare, I'll be glad to sit you beside me and tell you all about myself, about how we'll be the best of chums and what a great team we make! We'll all be like a big happy family and I won't even notice your sniping glances at me out of the corner of your oh-so-cheerful eyes...

Yes, ofCourse you're allowed to paste that grin on! It looks dandy on you. Feel free to call me anyday to help kill that tinny nagging voice that tells you to 'go do something'... We'll knock a few drinks and attribute all the mess to little green men wearing our nametags. And that would be our precious contribution to Homo sapiens sapiens - two truckfuls of faecal matter produced in two self-assured lifetimes. Cheers!

nesquarx