Raindrops

Any pattern that forms on a window pane being pelted by cold raindrops - stays for less than a moment, and you could never see it again; this fact alone made it worth looking at. Or maybe she was just looking at it to make out shapes on the other side of it. The city streets were up and running as usual, maybe the rest of the world was as busy as it ought to be, people did seem oblivious to everything going around them. Or was she concluding that just by herself? As she couldn't, see their expressions from this high up... And the rain, it seemed endless, must have been days...
What was the time anyway? Ahh, her thoughts were exceptionally restless tonight. Perhaps the chaos of her mind was betrayed by the raindrops on the glass - Fascinating!

The room felt damp, must have been the kitchen window, she did not feel like going up and shutting it, somehow the mustiness reassured her, kept her focused around the now, yes, she had been trying to keep the past and the future at bay from invading her now... her now, her sanctity, her sanity. But not tonight, no, there was something about tonight, no one would escape her probing thoughts tonight, no one would dare, the raindrops wouldn't let them.

Her mind. How much of it was real? How much of it was now? why did every person in her thoughts come with a hundred faces? She didn't really care. Spider silk of relationships entangled with specks and blobs of people, what a beautifully delicate network! It was as beautiful as it was horrific - threatening to engulf bits of her in its knots! But the raindrops did not want that to happen.

Thoughts, memories, feelings, they lay scattered around like the pages of a freshly fleshed novel and she was going through them with the surety of the novelist who knew it would never make it to print. But anything could happen tonight, there was something about tonight, the raindrops seemed to notice that as well.

Something was causing discomfort. Was she hungry? Thirsty? Or was it some other physical oddity? There was a very distant noise... She reached under a pile of pillows and pulled it out, pressed a button, the noise subsided, though the lights kept on winking at her. With some thought, she carefully put the cellphone back under the pillows with the deftness of an oft repeated act. An unchecked smile half flitted across her face, there was this secret satisfaction in abandonment... something she never understood, she never wanted to, but enjoyed it nonetheless. She went back to watching the raindrops. And they watched her.

The rain, it must have been falling non-stop for at least Five days now - it may as well have been Five Hundred years, she had lost track of time long ago... or was it just five minutes ago? She could tell that a quick trip to the refrigerator would confirm her that only about Two days' worth of food was left from the week's supply that she had brought when she took refuge in her two room apartment. Five days! Did the raindrops know that?

There were tear marks along her cheeks, though the tears had stopped... possibly yesterday. She could probably have spent another eternity sitting just like this, and the raindrops would happily oblige her, but not tonight. There was something about tonight. Was it time already? The raindrops abruptly stopped in answer to her question.

She went closer to the window, the drops clung tighter to the glass. Each drop showing a warped piece of the streets below. A milieu of lights that she suddenly could not help but find comforting - compared to the darkness of her own abode. She noticed that she could see only those drops which refracted the lights below, not the ones which showed the dark sky above. It was time indeed. The raindrops had shown her.

She went back to her memories, this time picking up the bits which shone like glowing embers of comfort and truth. Some of them too hot. She winced at a few unexpected pieces, but did not stop the inflow, an unconscious drop of tear welled up in her eyes, one that would never fall... the rain had started quietly again.

Any pattern that forms on a window pane being pelted by cold raindrops - stays for less than a moment, and you could never see it again; this fact alone made it worth looking at.... Something was causing discomfort. There was a very distant noise... She slid an expert hand under the pillows... A different button this time? The raindrops would know.

NesQuarX

1st December, 2007

Old one. It is now that I find some glitches in the writing... but I don't want to edit it anymore. So here it is as it was written.